Yahnke Tapes: Families Are Innocent Victims of Gay Children Who “Come Out”

A Post by Neil Hart on homosexuality, LGBT, lesbian and gay stuff and the Lutheran Church of Australia.

Regular readers will know that I have been following up on a seminar entitled Clear Conscience Courageous Living that was held at the Mannum Lutheran Church in August this year. The seminar which included discussion on  homosexuality was sanctioned by the LCA College of Presidents and was conducted by members of  “Doxology” a service arm of the Missouri Synod of the Lutheran Church in America. The visiting speakers also made presentations to pastors gatherings in both South Australia and Queensland.

Prior to the Seminar I was concerned about the manner in which topics were to be addressed. An advertising brochure was published on the Mannum Lutheran Church Website. The outline of  proposed session 2 said the following…

2. Innocent Bystanders: Distraught Family and Friends of Homosexuals Who “Come Out”

For every homosexual person, there is also an “innocent bystander.” That person may be a parent, sibling, spouse or child who has been confronted by a family member who “comes out.” Does one tolerate, neglect, avoid, judge or affirm the errant soul? What does it mean to love someone who is caught in this horrible snare of sin? Shock, guilt, grief and shame are common responses at a time of grave distress for the Christian family member. The discussion will explore essential matters that will emerge in spiritual care conversations, and families will be offered guidelines for responses that can be helpful.

I don’t know about you, reader, but it seemed to me that there might have been just the slightest hint that my gay friends were not going to be spoken of in the kindest light.

In all seriousness, the brochure was so offensive to me that I took it to the church authorities and pointed out that this type of presentation might well cause  harm to the families who attend. It seems, however, that the authorities saw no cause for concern.

The presentation itself certainly lived up to expectations

So, what DOES happen when a family member comes out?

Lets get this straight (so to speak). There are two types of Christian families. One accepts the situation without trauma, the other finds the situation

unexpected, unacceptable, unwelcome , (and) toxic in every possible way.

Just so we are clear, according to Dr Yahnke, the conservative way, the right way, is the way of shock and toxicity.

Now, one might reasonably question whether I am being fair to the good Doctor. Perhaps she is simply describing what happens in conservative families and not prescribing what should happen. The whole context of her discussion however makes it very clear that she sees homosexuality as an evil invader into the family which is not to be condoned, accommodated or tolerated in any way. As she says at the close of her talk.

I believe that the conference attendees would have understood her top be saying that a conservative Christian family is justified (perhaps even righteous) in viewing the situation as “unacceptable and toxic in every possible way”

So, as the parents begin to drown under this tsunami of toxic sin, what should they do? Where should they turn?

Yes. You heard right. Avoid the temptation to “google”. Or, another way of putting that…avoid the temptation to gather  valid information. Why?

Because often it’s NOT FAITH!

Reader, I don’t think I need to say much more. But it becomes obvious, (doesn’t it?) how families fall victim to this kind of nonsense and stay trapped in ignorance and at the mercy of those whose offer “faith-based” counsel rather than valid, well researched,  and accredited scientific information . And remember, Dr Yahnke is not speaking as a pastor. She is supposed to be speaking as a licensed clinical psychologist.

BTW. Note the question she raises in that last clip. The distraught parents ask, with HORROR…”Is it my fault?”.

I’ll tell you how she answers that in the next post.

SPOILER ALERT! Yes. It is the parent’s fault.


I can perhaps understand that the church would not have taken action to stop these seminars. They would have let them go ahead in good faith assuming that the information would be accurate and helpful. But now that the seminars are over there is really no excuse. It is more than a little disappointing, therefore,  to see that these videos are being promoted by our church right now on the LCA website.

If this matters to you… make some noise people. Or else the harm will just continue.