More Weird and Wonderful Workings of an LCA Pastor’s Brain.

A post by Neil Hart on homosexuality, LGBT, lesbian and gay stuff and the Lutheran Church of Australia.

Reader, you may remember that in the Lutheran Church of Australia President’s submission to Federal Parliament opposing marriage equality he made this statement.

In 5% of nations that have legalised same-sex marriages there has tended to be a domino effect with further legislation…There has been pressure to allow group marriage…Incest between consenting adults and even in extreme cases, marriage to ‘consenting animals’…  

I was particularly harsh on it in my critique of his submission. How can people get away with this offensive stuff? In the mind of the President, homosexuality is akin to incest and bestiality. They are all moral depravities that will “domino” our society into a moral decay worse than what festers on the inside of my mouth, and I haven’t been to the dentist in 12 years!

Sadly, this line of thought isn’t new to the pastorate of our church. When I first joined the Lutheran Church of Australia’s official email discussion forum called the LCAi List I was immediately confronted with it. Read this gem by Pastor “A”.

Geoff said: at the end of the day, some people simply are gay.

I am wondering – are there any other conditions in the human spectre to which we can apply this situation? Are there any other human behaviours which people are born with to which we should then accept?

Are behaviours such as incest, paedophilia, adultery, sociopath, – in fact that long list in 1 Corinthians 6 whom Paul says won’t inherit the Kingdom of God.

I am not making any link between these behaviours but applying to one means applying to many.

Gotta love the last line. How do you argue with logic like that? Well, Pastor “A”, I’m not making any link between you and bigotry but…YOU’RE A BIGOT! 

As I was thinking of the President’s comment and numerous other “coughing-ups” from Pastors similar to the above that I have read over the last few months, I wrote the following on the LCAi LIST.

(Just a word of explanation. I was replying to another Pastor who has similar views to mine. He had just made a tongue it cheek comment to the List. I thought I would follow in the same vein. The President’s submission and a particularly offensive statement about anal sex from another pastor was on my mind.  I included 2 New Testament Greek words which has recently been discussed on the List. They have sometimes been translated to mean “homosexual” although their exact meanings are very obscure and modern translations are probably inaccurate. )

I remember that tough spot in my marriage when I thought I should just run off with some guy for some anal sex. But then I got confused about who would be the arsenakoitai and who would be the malakoi and it just all seemed a bit hard. What about you Geoff? I mean, what man among us hasn’t experimented with other men, children , dogs…you know…the usual…every once in a while.

Reader, you should know me by now. You know that I am not prone to being unreasonably provocative (cough, cough) But when I wrote this I kinda guessed that some of the pastors on the list would bite like rabid dogs.

And…perfectly on cue…came the response. This one from Pastor “X”

This is just one of many emails that has caused particular offence.   Many people have lost their jobs over much less.  It is totally unacceptable regardless of what point was trying to be communicated. I think a prudent person would avoid engaging with any such sort of discussion.

Yes Pastor “X”. Finally you get the point. It IS unacceptable. Yes, a prudent person WOULD avoid this type of talk.  It IS downright offensive to even suggest that type of behaviour. Perhaps someone SHOULD reconsider whether, after making statements that link people’s sexuality to pedophilia and bestiality, that person should continue in his present position.

But reader, the story does not end there…because of my previous post on the Weird and Wonderful Workings of the Pastor’s Brain the LCA List had kind of exploded a little bit. There were accusations and counter accusations and tears and hand wringing. (What is hand wringing anyway?) until finally this notification appeared.

Dear Pastors

On advice from the President of the Church, after consultation and discussion, the LCAi list is in recess until further notice.

The function of this list, designed for the sharing of news and information and respectful discussion and debate, will be assessed and a decision will be made on how best to glorify God without stifling healthy debate within the parameters of the Church.

As part of the regular functions of the LCA’s Professional Standards Unit and the Communications & Engagement Unit (LCA Connect), a Code of Conduct for the appropriate use of internet forums and social media is being developed. You will be advised when this document has been completed and when LCAi (or equivalent) has been reinstated.

We apologise for any inconvenience while this process is in place, but you will no doubt understand why it is necessary for the LCA to keep its members, visitors and reputation safe in these days of rapidly advancing communications technology.

One of David Hayward’s cartoons from comes to mind.


The next email after this was from a friend. …

Neil you broke the list…now you’re for it!

But it just fell apart in my hands! How can that be my fault? Why don’t they make Lists like they used to when was a kid? We used to whittle them out of Solid jarrah! They never broke…prolly still got one out in the shed. Yup, there it is, propping up the left side of the M1 Abrams Tank while i change its track. See how useful a solid list can be!!

Anyway…I have a little bar graph at the top of my screen which shows the hourly traffic on my blog. I don’t look at it really but…ok…i do look at it sometimes….All right ALL RIGHT.Im fixated on the damn thing…I admit! Every time it drops below 10 I call in my wife. She is an ICU nurse and reads machines and stats all day long to keep people alive. She know’s what to do. Usually she says…

“Neil! Shut the screen, stand on your legs if they still work and go do some gardening already! The computer will still be there when you come back.”

She’s right. It always is. (contented sigh!) That’s why gay people need to get married as well.

Where was I? Oh yeh…Blog traffic. So, I was out when they shut down the LCAi LIst but when i finally caught up with what had happened… I notice 2 things.

1. Within seconds of the announcement someone had set up the LCA List in Exile. Not many people on it yet but, you are welcome to join. it’s at…..

2. The minute the announcement was made my bar graph shot up into stratospheric territory it had never seen before. Instead of a usual midweek 10-15 an hour It spiked to 84 in the first hour and stayed in the 80’s for the rest of the day.

Just goes to show… when you try to contain something like free speech and ideas…you just know that its gonna seep through the crevices and spill out over the top.

Sometimes they just make it too easy :)