Comment Pt 2. Debauchery in the Sydney Gay Mardigras

A post by Neil Hart on homosexuality, LGBT, lesbian and gay stuff and the Lutheran Church of Australia.

These 3 posts arise out of comments/ questions posed by one of our readers. The full comment and other replies can be found on the 6 December post “Sorry Rob Pollnitz and the CSBQ”.

Our reader asks…

What do your readers in the gay community think of the debaucherous behaviour at the Sydney gay mardigras?

I havent been to a sydney gay mardigras. It looks a bit like Rio mardi gras from what i have seen on TV. You will have to describe the debauchery before i can state my opinion on any particular act. I am pretty offended by fancy dress in general, particularly anythng involving angel wings. Ever since caroline houton won the dianella primary school costume parade in 1969 with a stupid shop bought angel costume even though MY perfectly brilliant home made robyn hood costume was way better…but thats for another time….probably with my psych….

I know what you mean though…There is a part of me that says “Hmmm, these homosexual people are not doing their cause any good. How does this mardi gras  promote the concept of lifelong love and committment in relationships?”

But today, I choose to walk in a gay persons shoes and question that other part of myself…

“What Neil? You sit in judgement of me and my participation in the Gay mardigras? You hate the way i flaunt my sexuality? Well screw you! When i was in school and was unsure about who i was and was scared about being different. When i was horribly alone, alone, alone… you bullied me and made fun of me.

But i gathered my strength. I began to understand my sexuality.  I began to love myself despite the way you treated me. And i did it in the face of opposition from my church and my christian family. The first time i fell in love, you called the relationship evil and dirty and sinful and tried to make me stay away from my partner. You forced me into another painful period where i was at war with myself, fighting who i was inside, struggling to deny my the confusion that your doctrines set for me…You told me the impossible lie that my feelings were ok….but the minute i acted on them i was sinful.

With that internal war came the inevitable periods where i  “fell into sin”. Periods where i said, “Damn your rules!  I want to love. I want to feel and i want to act on my feelings”.  I surrounded myself with others who were equally hurt, equally confused, equally defiant and equally willing. Then i would fall back into your church imposed guilt.. back to unreasonable celibacy, self denial and self loathing.

Finally  I met my soul mate, my lifes partner, the one who fills my dreams. I met the one who i longed to give myself to emotionally, spiritually and physically,  the one who shares every aspect of my life. And my christian family took a stand against my sin. My church removed me from communion and my country refused to honour and celibrate our love and committment through the bonds of marriage.

So…screw you Neil and your false morality! Screw your judgements and impossible restrictions. When i am promiscuous you condemn me… when i want committed and monogamous love you condemn me still. I reject you and the things i tried to live up to all my life. I reject denial of natural feelings and false guilt. I reject hiding in shadows and hurtful celibacy. I reject the psychological suicide that comes from trying to deny such a critical part of myself.

I choose life. I choose love.  i choose celibration. and i choose to announce it and display it publically. More…I will revel in my sexuality, i will flaunt it,  i will rub it in your hypocritcal face. And when i hear your judgements i will smile because you have no power over me any more.

And my partner and i hold hands and walk proudly in the parade and wave to all the smiling people who have come to show there support for us and our love.